“Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress. Elegance is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside”

Coco Chanel

Who is an elegant lady?

An elegant lady can be described as someone who carries themselves with poise and in a sophisticated manner. Some other people might describe an elegant woman as someone who is pleasingly gracious and polished in their daily living.

A woman described this way has specific characteristics or virtues that should be evident in her actions. Being elegant is not just about being classy; it is not just about the heels and pearls, it comes from the heart and mind. It’s a total mindset shift. I’ve keenly observed the elegant lady space and I can boldly tell you that for you to be an elegant lady through and through, there are certain virtues you should imbibe and hone. 

1. Patience

Patience is the capacity to accept inconveniences and irks (delays, disappointments etc) without allowing oneself to show feelings of annoyance, disgust, or anxiety. How easy it is to give a definition. It definitely is more work to put in the action. An elegant lady is emotionally intelligent and one beautiful sign of being emotionally intelligent is by being able to keep calm in a situation, thinking through the situation and coming up with an appropriate response for that moment.

2. Diligence

Anytime I think of this virtue, I’m reminded of a proverb: “Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.”

I’ll rephrase, “Seest thou an elegant lady diligent in her business and the work of her hands? She shall stand before kings; she shall not stand before mean men.”

An elegant woman is diligent in her doings.

3. Generosity

I’ve always held unto this belief that when God blesses you, it is so you can bless others too. This mindset makes it easy to give to others. Seek to help others with what you’ve been given. You don’t have to have much or wait to be rich to be generous. Give from what you have. Give your time, your energy, your financial resources, your intellect, and your company. Generosity is not a reflection of the state of your pockets, but a reflection of the state of your heart. 

4. Devotion

Devotion can be described as having deep-seated love or loyalty towards someone or something. An elegant woman is devoted to things she commits to. She keeps her word and upholds her promises and obligations. 

She has a reputation as a dependable and reliable person. I’m a person of faith and my devotion is to God as I believe this sets the foundation for all other virtuous qualities I may cultivate as an elegant lady.

5. Wisdom

Wisdom in plain words is having insights and the ability to know and discern what is right. Wisdom dictates that you do more active listening and engaging in order to give informed replies or make informed decisions. An elegant lady listens more than she speaks. 

Wisdom means being honest. However, if something isn’t pleasant to say, an elegant woman approaches politely and gracefully — but always with truth. 

A bonus virtue is modesty. I broke this down in this video – Modesty: the truth no one is telling you about.

Every elegant lady should have the ability to be thankful in all situations. It’s harder on some days but it helps you keep things in perspective when you find something to be grateful for each day.

What virtue do you think I missed out on? Which do you need to work on?