When I first moved from Lagos to Toronto, I thought I understood workplace dynamics. After all, I’d navigated the bustling business environment of Nigeria’s commercial capital. But after listening to the many stories of my friends and community on the work system, I discovered it was a different kind of complexity – one where influence was wielded through carefully crafted coffee conversations rather than direct confrontation, and where the real decisions often happened in post-meeting chats rather than in boardrooms.

This experience taught me that workplace politics isn’t just about climbing the corporate ladder or playing power games. It’s about understanding the unspoken rules of professional interaction, and yes, sometimes choosing whether to play by them or forge your own path entirely.

The Art of Strategic Engagement

As an elegance and femininity coach, I’ve learned that true sophistication lies not in avoiding politics, but in navigating them with intention. When I work with clients, I often tell them: “You don’t have to be the schemer in the corner office, but you cannot afford to be naive about how influence flows in your workplace.”

Consider the elegant way a skilled diplomat operates – they understand alliances without being manipulative, they build relationships without being transactional, and they communicate their value without boasting. This is what I call “mindful office politics” – being strategically aware while maintaining your integrity.

The Nigerian-Canadian Lens: Direct Communication Meets Diplomatic Subtlety

My dual cultural perspective has been invaluable in understanding this balance. Nigerian culture often values direct communication and relationship-building, while Canadian workplace culture tends toward more subtle, diplomatic approaches. I’ve learned to blend both: the warmth and relationship-focused nature of Nigerian interactions with the diplomatic nuance that Canadian offices often require.

This has taught me that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to office politics. What works in Lagos might not translate directly to Toronto, and what succeeds in one department might fail in another. The key is developing cultural intelligence and adapting your approach while staying true to your core values.

The Choice: Political Player or Principled Professional?

Here’s what I’ve discovered: you can absolutely choose not to be an office politician in the traditional sense. But you cannot choose to be ignorant of office politics. The most elegant approach is to become what I call a “principled professional” – someone who understands the game but plays by their own rules.

This means:

Building authentic relationships rather than transactional ones. When I talk to women in the workplace, I encourage them to invest in genuine connections with colleagues across different levels and departments. This isn’t about using people; it’s about building a network based on mutual respect and shared professional interests.

Communicating with diplomatic grace without sacrificing your message. You can be direct about your needs, boundaries, and contributions while using language that invites collaboration rather than defensiveness. This is particularly important for women of color like myself, who often face additional scrutiny in how we communicate in professional settings.

Choosing your battles wisely and knowing when to engage versus when to step back. Not every workplace conflict requires your input, and not every political move deserves your energy. Elegance often lies in knowing what you won’t engage with.

The Alternative Path: Building Your Own Influence

If traditional office politics feels inauthentic to you, there’s another way. I’ve seen women build tremendous influence by becoming indispensable through excellence, creating value through innovation, and leading through service rather than manipulation.

This approach requires:

Exceptional competence in your role. When your work speaks for itself, you need fewer political manoeuvres to get recognition. Focus on developing skills that make you irreplaceable in your specific role and valuable to the broader organisation.

Authentic leadership that draws people to you naturally. This might mean mentoring junior colleagues, facilitating collaboration between departments, or being the person who brings solutions rather than just problems.

Strategic visibility for your contributions. You don’t need to play politics to ensure your work is seen and valued. This can be as simple as documenting your achievements, sharing your knowledge through presentations, or volunteering for high-visibility projects that align with your strengths.

The Elegant Middle Ground

Perhaps the most sophisticated approach is what I call “conscious participation” – being aware of political dynamics while maintaining your integrity. This means:

Understanding that relationships matter in professional advancement, but choosing to build them authentically rather than manipulatively. It means knowing how to advocate for yourself and others without engaging in gossip or undermining colleagues.

From my experience,I’ve seen that those who thrive are neither completely political nor completely naive. They’re strategically aware, relationally intelligent, and authentically themselves.

The Choice Is Yours

Whether you choose to become an office politician or not, make it a conscious decision. Understand what you’re choosing and why. If you decide to engage in office politics, do it with integrity and purpose. If you choose to step away from political games, ensure you’re building alternative pathways to success and influence.

Remember that elegance in the workplace isn’t about being the most liked or the most feared. It’s about being the most trusted, the most valuable, and the most authentic version of yourself. Whether you achieve this through political savvy or principled professionalism is ultimately your choice.

The most elegant strategy is the one that aligns with your values, leverages your strengths, and moves you toward your professional goals while allowing you to sleep peacefully at night. In the end, that’s what true success looks like – not just climbing the ladder, but doing so in a way that honors who you are and who you want to become.

What approach resonates most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on navigating workplace dynamics while staying true to your authentic self.