It’s mid-January already, and my social media feeds continue to overflow with vision boards, detailed goal-setting frameworks, and declarations of “new year, new me.” Meanwhile, I’m sitting at my kitchen table with my second cup of Earl Grey, watching the snow fall outside, and feeling… nothing. No burning desire to map out twelve months of achievement. No crystal-clear vision pulling me forward. Just a quiet sense of being adrift.

And you know what? I’ve learned that this feeling is not only common—it’s sometimes necessary.

The Pressure We Put On Ourselves

As women, we’re conditioned to be perpetual self-improvement projects. Add to that the roles of mother, wife, professional, and in my case, someone who literally coaches others on intentional living, and the pressure to have it all figured out can feel suffocating. The irony isn’t lost on me that I guide women toward clarity and purpose, yet here I am, utterly uninspired by the traditional goal-setting ritual.

But here’s what I’ve discovered through my own seasons of uncertainty and through walking alongside countless women: not every January needs to be a launching pad. Sometimes, it needs to be a rest stop.

What To Do When Goal-Setting Feels Empty

1. Give Yourself Permission to Not Know

The most elegant thing you can do is stop forcing clarity that isn’t there yet. I spent years believing that my worth as a woman, mother, and coach depended on having a plan. But wisdom has taught me that uncertainty often precedes our most significant transformations.

This week, instead of writing goals, I wrote this in my journal: “I don’t know what I want right now, and I’m choosing to be okay with that.” The relief was immediate.

2. Focus on How You Want to Feel

When I can’t identify what I want to achieve, I shift to how I want to feel. Do I want more peace? More presence with my children? More spaciousness in my days? These aren’t measurable goals, but they’re compass points.

Yesterday, my daughter asked me to play dolls, and instead of mentally running through my to-do list, I just played. No agenda. No optimization. Just twenty minutes of being fully there. That’s the feeling I’m choosing—presence over productivity.

3. Tend to What’s Already Growing

Perhaps you don’t need new goals because you haven’t fully honored what you’ve already cultivated. I’ve been so busy looking ahead that I forgot to appreciate how I’ve grown in my patience, how my marriage has deepened, how I’ve learned to say no without guilt.

Take inventory of who you’ve become. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply maintain what we’ve built rather than constantly reaching for more.

4. Try “Seasonal Intentions” Instead

Who says we need to plan twelve months ahead? The Canadian winter has taught me about seasons—they each have their own rhythm and purpose. Maybe you’re in a winter season that’s meant for rest and reflection, not ambitious growth.

I’m setting an intention just for the next six weeks: to move my body gently, to read before scrolling, to light candles at dinner. That’s it. When spring comes (both literally and metaphorically), I’ll reassess.

5. Create Space for Discovery

When we’re lost, we often need to stop planning and start exploring. What if this feeling of being adrift is actually an invitation to try something new without the pressure of it becoming a “goal”?

I’ve started taking a different route on my morning walks, trying a new recipe each week, and saying yes to invitations I’d normally decline. I’m not goal-setting; I’m gathering information about myself.

The Gift of Not Knowing

Here’s what I want you to hear: your worth isn’t determined by your productivity or your five-year plan. You are not behind. You are not failing.

Sometimes the most feminine, most elegant thing we can do is soften our grip on control and trust that clarity will come when we’re ready for it. There’s a reason the natural world has cycles of dormancy. Seeds don’t apologize for their time underground.

If you’re feeling lost or unmotivated about goal-setting this year, I want you to consider that maybe you’re not lost at all. Maybe you’re in a necessary pause. Maybe you’re composting old dreams to make room for new ones you can’t even imagine yet.

Moving Forward (Gently)

So what do you do when you don’t feel like setting goals?

You give yourself grace. You focus on the day in front of you. You do the next right thing. You trust that purpose doesn’t disappear just because you can’t articulate it in a SMART goal format.

And if you’re anything like me, you pour another cup of tea, wrap yourself in your softest blanket, and remind yourself that not every season is for striving. Some seasons are simply for being.

The goals—if they’re meant to come—will arrive when you’re ready. Until then, you’re allowed to simply take care of yourself and the people you love. That’s not settling. That’s wisdom.

What about you? Are you feeling the pressure to have it all figured out this January, or are you giving yourself permission to rest in the uncertainty? I’d love to hear your thoughts.