The Unexpected Guest I
Picture this:
You’re home on a Sunday evening, mourning the soon to be deceased weekend while sipping on a glass of something cold to calm ya naavzz, and in the middle of wondering whether or not it’d be worth it to chop off your arm so you don’t have to be at work the next day, you hear your door bell ring.
At first, you jump at the startling shrill of it. Then, since you’re not expecting anyone, you decide that it is probably a lost soul who, having lost its way, had mistaken your apartment for the one that was it’s actual destination. So you lay back down and ignore it, hoping they’d realize their mistake and go away.
It rings again.
And again.
And yet again.
Curses.
You make your way to the door muttering dark dark curses and stewing. You possibly even bump your little toe against your coffee table. Ok I take that back, cause I’m pretty sure that you’re stewing enough as it is, without a little toe accident to add to it.
Anyway, you make your way to the door in one piece to peep through your peephole. Who in tarnation could possibly be calling at a person’s house unannounced?!
Visitors. That’s who.
Curses.
******
From this little scenario I just painted, I’m quite certain that by now you can guess how I feel about unexpected visitors (and possibly 9-5 jobs). But I’m even more certain that majority of you share my sentiments. Sadly, despite how we feel about them, we can’t exactly bang the door in visitors faces without good reason. I mean, you could pretend to not be home, and I will not judge you for it (I’d probably do the same on certain days), but we must all admit that there are better ways of handling the situation.
Now, handling unexpected guests is an extensive topic, therefore, I will be writing about it in a two-part series, this being the Introductory and first part of the two. In this part, I’d be arming you, with what I call a mental “Emergency First Aid Kit for Unexpected Visitors”!
*insert really cool Marvel Avengers soundtrack*
First off, I’d like to clarify the difference between a “guest” and a “visitor”. Though mistaken to be similar, a “guest” is someone who visits you, specifically on your invitation, while a “visitor” is someone who visits you, regardless of whether they were invited by you.
From the distinction, it is clear that you have an obligation to play host to your “guest” and entertain them. The question then becomes: Does the fact that a person was not specifically invited mean that they do not deserve to be entertained as well? My answer would be: No. The polite thing to do is to entertain them anyway, except there is an absolutely good reason why you should not.
Undisputedly, entertaining is “easier” when you have prior notice (for the purpose of this article, any notice less than 24hrs is deemed to not be prior notice). It is however, much more disheveling when you’re caught off guard. Believe me, I know. I’m well marinated in the experience. There’s something about Nigerians generally, and showing up unannounced or on short notice. I grew up watching my mother scramble, trip and mutter incoherent words out of earshot and sight of the visitors, only to reappear, laden with trays of homemade goodness, a picture of composure, ease and grace. Just we, her rather unwilling apprentices, knew the magic she worked backstage. So, from my imposed experience, I have put together this mental Emergency First Aid Kit for Unexpected Visitors to help you.
The Mental Emergency First Aid Kit for Unexpected Visitors
This kit, just like every other kit, contains basic items used to provide first aid, albeit applied in a different way.
- Antiseptic: Clean Up Area Of Concern
If you’re not naturally the tidiest of people or if you have kids, you’d have most likely been caught off guard by your guest. This means that your house is probably not at it’s best. Before you get the door, you could do a little damage control. Start with the area they would be spending the most time in (hopefully, this is the first and only area they would be restricted to). Your target should be to make it “more” presentable, not to do the impossible and magically transform it. So, you can’t leave them out on the porch or hallway and start dusting your surfaces or cleaning your floors; but you can straighten your throw-pillows, throw things that shouldn’t be out in a clean garbage bag temporarily, and empty the trash. You get the idea.
- Bandage: Keep It Together
It is natural that you would feel a little flustered (and possibly out of breathe from no.1 above) as you let your visitors in. In order to pull yourself together, take deep breaths, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, as you go to let them in/welcome them. Smile, no matter how much you’d rather not. They don’t need to know that they came at a bad time.
- Scissors: Cut The Awkwardness
Your unexpected visitors may have come at an awkward time, or they could be people you have nothing in common with or know little to nothing about. Bottom line is, there may be a lot of awkwardness as you fish around for conversation topics, after pleasantries and weather commentaries have been exchanged. To curb this, you could bring up conversations about your visitor, ask them questions and find common interests, so the conversation can flow naturally from there. You can also use the television as an external aid. Tune in to their favorite show or channel and work in conversation on it with ease.
- Thermometer: Keep The Atmosphere Warm And Pleasant
No matter how inconvenient it is for you to have visitors at that point in time, do not make your visitors feel unwelcome. Do not be rude or cold. Keep the environment light and warm. There is no point in making them feel anything less than welcome. Doing so speaks less about your visitors and more about you. Also, keep in mind the golden rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (even if others haven’t done unto you as you would want to be done unto). This is because, not everyone was raised with the principles of courtesy and boundaries that you were raised with. Not everyone knows what you know or sees things as you do.
- Antacids: Neutralize Their Stomach Acidity
Always offer your guests some form of refreshment. Start with drinks and snacks. If their arrival is not around a meal time, you are not obligated to offer them a meal, but if it is, then you should offer them one. For instance, if your guest arrives between 7am and 10am, it is possible that they have skipped breakfast, and you should offer them some. It doesn’t have to be a three course meal, it could be just a cup of coffee, eggs and toast.
- Painkiller: Take A Healthy Dose Of Chill
This is the most important item on this list. Try to stay as calm and as stress-free as possible. Nothing is as uncomfortable for your visitor as seeing you stress about, trying to make them comfortable. Do all that is within your “chill threshold”, but don’t exceed it. For instance, if your visitor politely declines white wine, and you don’t have red wine, do NOT go out to your local store to pick a bottle of red wine. Offer them something else instead, but if they’re fine without any of the refreshments you have offered, make your peace with it and simply focus on trying to enjoy their company.
I hope you found this post helpful and handy. My next post will focus on refreshments for your unexpected visitor, so stay tuned!
Photo Credit: Pinterest
zortilo nrel
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