Elegance: It’s More Than Just Fancy Clothes (and Moms are Totally Rocking It)

One of the hard truths I’ve come to learn as a Femininity and Elegance Coach is that elegance looks and feels different for people, depending on their state in life and personal circumstances. For instance, how one lives elegance as a single lady, is very different (oh trust me, a whole lot different!) from how one lives elegance as a married lady. Then throw kids into the mix and it’s a whole different game!

I came across a meme that, I’m almost sure you’ve come across at some point in the past, that kind of explains this— but with shoes. It showed the different types of shoe personalities women have depending on their state in life. Single had a 6″, married had a 4″, with kids had tennis shoes or something, etc. I’m yet to come across a more apt depiction! The way a mom carries herself, even when she’s juggling a million things, is pretty impressive. Here’s the thing: there’s not just one kind of elegant mom.

Elegance comes off in different ways. Here are some tips on how to hone elegance in motherhood. I’m going to divide them into two categories: physical and behavioural.

Physical tips

1. Invest in high-quality grooming practices: the goal is that they not only look nice and classy, but they last you a longer time and are usually less destructive. They’re usually a little more on the pricey side, but they pay off in the long run.  A good example is switching out press-on and acrylic nails for a proper manicure for your natural nails. If your natural nails aren’t long enough, you can use a BIAB (builder in a bottle) to strengthen your nails and help you grow them.

2. Introduce Anti-ageing products: there’s something about motherhood that keeps one almost always exhausted. This physical toll will reflect on your skin sooner or later. So get on the retinoids as soon as possible. Find one that is suitable for you and include it in your skincare routine. You can also start taking collagen supplements if you want to take it a step further.

3. Invest in beautiful low-stress shoes for your everyday look: Most of us dress functionally and comfortably for everyday wear. Most times, we’re not interested in chasing a runaway toddler through a mall in a pencil skirt or peeling a wrestling kid away from the slides in 6″ heels. So we dress as practical for the day’s activities as possible. And most times, it doesn’t look very put together. 

But the trick I’ve found that instantly elevates almost any outfit is pairing it with nice shoes. Whatever the style you choose, make sure it’s comfy but also a little more dressy than you’d have gone for typically. Trust me, it works like a charm.

4. Quick everyday makeup: You should get quick everyday makeup classics like mascara, gloss, concealer and blush/bronzer. Have a quick makeup routine that enhances your features yet not spending a lot of time or doing too much. You can watch my video on a quick makeup routine here – Soft Glam Makeup Routine Tutorial.

5. Elegance as a mother can also mean laying out clothes a day before. Planning your outfit a day before does wonders for your mood the next day.

6. Elegance might also mean being prepared the day before by checking the weather forecast so you can plan ahead. Doing this makes you plan what to pack in a snack bag, what you’ll wear, the activities of the day. It makes everything a whole lot easier to take in.

Behavioural tips

1. Taking deep breaths before reacting to situations. 

Before you react impulsively to a stressful situation, take a deep breath (or ten!).  Deep breathing is a scientifically proven way to calm your nervous system and promote clear thinking. By taking these deep breaths, you’ll give yourself a moment to assess the situation calmly and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting out of emotion.

2. ⁠Making lists so as to be more efficient in productivity. 

Feeling scattered and forgetful? Making to-do lists is a game-changer for boosting productivity. There are different to-do list methods. Experiment and find what works best for you! Bullet journaling, digital to-do list apps, or even good old-fashioned paper lists are all great options.

3. ⁠Practicing time blocking to assigned tasks

Ever feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day?  Time blocking is a powerful technique for taking control of your schedule and maximizing your productivity. Divide your day into specific time blocks dedicated to particular tasks. Schedule time for emails, meetings, focused work sessions, playtime with the children and even breaks. While working in a time block, silence notifications and minimize distractions to stay on track.

4. ⁠Take a little time every day for yourself (to rest, read, relax, do some self-development, etc)

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential! Schedule “me-time” into your day just like any other appointment.  It could be 15 minutes in the morning for quiet time or an hour in the evening to read a book. The key is to be consistent and make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. You can read more about self-care here

5. ⁠Inculcate micro habits that make you more functional 

This is almost similar to practising time blocking for assigned tasks. These habits could include meal planning & meal prepping in batches, and routines for chores. However, take this a step further by introducing skills for kids that make them more independent such as sleep training, teaching them to self-entertain or independent play, teaching them to clean up after themselves and similar tasks.

Here’s the bottom line: being an elegant mom isn’t about fitting into a mould. It’s about the love you pour into your role, the strength you find within yourself, and the unique way you raise your little one. It’s a beautiful, messy, ever-changing journey, and every mom on this path carries her own special kind of elegance.

Elegance isn’t limited to moms, though! It’s about celebrating all the different ways people express themselves. It’s not about following trends or trying to be someone you’re not. It’s about discovering who you are, what makes you special, and owning it. Whether it’s rocking your cultural heritage, finding strength in motherhood, or just embracing the beauty of everyday life, elegance is about letting your individuality shine through. Remember, elegance isn’t a destination – it’s a lifelong journey of self-expression.

Now go out there and shine!